Ballet Flats

Now I’m no expert on fashion, but there’s one thing that I do know, and that’s what looks good and what looks like shit.

Ballet Flat

You should wear ballet flats if you’re A) a ballerina B) a tween C) you’re eff’ing long-legged and skinny. If you’re under 5’6 and thick-thighed, (like myself, during the winter months) you should NEVER wear the round, snub-nosed ballet flat! It cuts off your leg like at the ankle like a hobbled, amputated stump.



There’s nothing worse that emulating a dumpy, southern housewife with the ass widening, mom jeans, bad perm, thin lips and white Ked sneaker. At least the tennis shoe adds a bit of a leg extender. With the ballet slipper, your hacked-off legs accentuate the wide load you’re carrying around above it.

This Plus

This

equals...

This!

If you insist on working the skinny-legged jean and you’ve got a booty like a rap video hoochie (e.g. baby got back, junk in the trunk, caked-up), do yourself a favor and add a substantial boot or elongating shoe to the look.

Silence & Noise Twig Jean
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